Come to me all you who are weary
We all have parts of ourselves, our stories, and our current seasons of life that feel unforgivable. We read in the word that Jesus forgives us, but can’t seem to receive it, we read about Gods unfailing love but can’t seem to embrace it. For years I found myself in the hamster wheel of working for Gods love and forgiveness. Even after coming to Christ, thinking that if I preach the gospel here, if I pray with this person, that will be enough for God. That will be enough for Him to look at me with delight and not disgust. It will be enough for Him to maybe let me into His presence. My own experiences taught me you must earn love, you need to work to be seen, you have to shout to be heard.
So I worked. I wrote the book, I preached the gospel, I prayed for the stranger, I served, I shared my story before I was ready, because I thought. “This is what God wants.” He wants my works, He wants my good behavior. It was not until I entered into a deeper realm of healing and grief, that I discovered the only thing He wanted was my heart. For me to come as I am which most days was broken, fed up, weary, and disappointed. He loved it, He held every moment close to Him and slowly but surely He began to restore my joy, my hope, and from that overflow I went out. I shared my story with freedom in my eyes and lightness in my step. I preached to those who needed to hear about the love of Jesus, not the ones I assumed did. I poured out from an overflow, that first came from Him.
There are many stories in the Bible that talk about a process, sitting at Jesus’s feet, drinking from His well of life, and that is what I’ve had to do, and am still learning how to do because, My life is not defined by what I do for someone or what I do for God, and neither is yours. The story of Mary and Martha resonated deeply with me, Martha was preparing for Jesus, running around making sure everything was in order, while Mary sat at Jesus’s feet. In awe and wonder of Him, and from that place Jesus began to teach her. Teach her how to love, teach her how to care, and teach her how to walk in the God given calling He destined her with. This took and will take time. There may be moments in your journey or process when God does ask you to do something, listen to that. Boldly go, but then there are other times when He will say “My child, come close for I have much to share with you, much to tell you, and I want to show you how much I love you.” Listen to that too, both are important, both are valuable to our King, both mean the world to Him. So whether you are in a season of sitting or going, remember that first you’re made for Him, and you’re made for His love.
Matthew 11:28-30 NLT
28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
Photo taken in Chicago, IL 2020