Let the redeemed of The Lord tell their story

Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story.

I have written this story before. Many times actually. I have named everything someone has done to me, with very little account for who I used to be. It’s true, horrible things have taken place in my life, but I will not neglect to tell the story of who I was before Jesus.

As one who never knew who she was or whose she was. I struggled to fit in, striving for belonging at every table, even the ones that didn’t fit me. I was manipulative, dishonest and a very much one for all kind of person. I had dreams that never lined up with the kingdom of God. I struggled through identity issues well into my twenties which created an array of choices that almost killed me. But by Gods grace I am still here.

He spoke to me in those rooms, the darkest places of my soul, and He said you don’t belong here, you belong to me. Throughout my journey with Jesus I have learned how patient He is. And when we say God is on time, usually we are talking about the miracle He will do for us, the dream He has for us, but what I’m referring to now, is His rescue. He was on time.

In the middle of my one bedroom apartment I called out to God. I told Him I can’t do this anymore, I need you, I am broken, I am lost, and I need a savior to heal me. I remember recalling His death on the cross. Rather than that resonating with me, it was this idea that this man loved me enough to heal me.

I had run around searching for healing in men, career accolades, friendship groups, and within my own understanding and strength. It was not until the fall of 2020 that I admitted I was wrong about how I wanted to live my life and not until I realized I would not survive if I kept on the way I was living that God came down to rescue me.

Now four years later, I am free to heal, free to forgive, free to dream, free to re-imagine, rebuild and rediscover this beautiful life that is truly a gift regifted to me by the creator of it. I share this with you today to let you know God is a rescuer. He is a healer, and He longs to love you, love you back to life.

I have a hope and a future, I am healing and growing into the woman I was meant to be. Leaving behind little by little fear of the future and running everyday into my Fathers arms.

I don’t have my dream career or job yet, I’m not married yet, I don’t have all the money in the world, but I have never felt more whole and free than I do now.

Pslam 91: 14-16

The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.
    I will protect those who trust in my name.
15 When they call on me, I will answer;
    I will be with them in trouble.
    I will rescue and honor them.
16 I will reward them with a long life
    and give them my salvation.”