I’m learning how to bring all of me to the feet of Jesus.
For years I kept everything under wraps, hidden, thinking it was safer there. Thinking that if no one knew, no one would leave, no one would give up on me, no one would run away. I learned to keep it all inside. I learned that my tears were not worth hearing, and my cries for help entered a void instead of loving arms.
One thing I love about Jesus is He is the Light. He is the one who shines on everything that is hidden, shameful, dark, and broken. He doesn’t just shine His light He also brings his healing hand. When I began my journey of healing there were things I could not touch. I could feel the physical pain manifest in my body, it was a wound. A deep wound that I refused to receive healing for because I was afraid of how much it would hurt. I was afraid of the pain. Little by little God led me. He led me in His word to learn more about His character, He led me in my quiet times with words of love, and encouragement. He led me with whispers and reminders that He is a good God who takes His time.
During my healing journey, I have pleaded with God to rip off the bandaid, tell me the answer, or take all the pain away. When I ask Him this He consoles me, He reminds me where He was in those moments, He speaks over the broken words that have been spoken over me, and then with His hand, He begins to press gently on the wound nudging me to bring it fully to Him.
And slowly but surely I do. I bring Him the fullness of my tears, my grief, and my broken hope. I allow Him to speak into it, and slowly but surely I get back up. I regain the strength that I need for the day or the hour and I come to know Him as my Rapha, My healer, My loving Father, my faithful friend, and my redeemer.
Jeremiah 31:3-6
31 “At that time,” declares the Lord, “I will be the God of all the families of Israel, and they will be my people.”
2 This is what the Lord says:
“The people who survive the sword
will find favor in the wilderness;
I will come to give rest to Israel.”
3 The Lord appeared to us in the past,[a] saying:
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
4 I will build you up again,
and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt.
Again you will take up your timbrels
and go out to dance with the joyful.
5 Again you will plant vineyards
on the hills of Samaria;
the farmers will plant them
and enjoy their fruit.
6 There will be a day when watchmen cry out
on the hills of Ephraim,
‘Come, let us go up to Zion,
to the Lord our God.’
-NIV translation
Words written 4/08/24
Photos taken 09/24