Friendship

The meaning of friendship has been on my heart recently. 

When I was growing up, I never had a best friend, but I always wanted one. Most of my time was spent trying to be accepted, unsure of who I was. No one ever got to know the real me, because I was too busy trying to be like everyone else. High school and middle school were messy years. They were full of confusion, questions, and a lot of heartbreak. There was also a time in my life when I was afraid to be friends with women.  I struggled to relate to them healthily, I remember telling myself that it was easier to be friends with men, because deep down I was looking for protection, and I was looking for safety.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve seen the beauty and truth laced within the phrase "quality over quantity."

God has a way of bringing you the people you need to learn and grow when you least expect it. Nicole and I met three years ago at church. I told her everything about me, and she listened. She told me about her life, and from then on we were inseparable. Her selfless example pointed me to the idea that I needed to change.

I was used to transactional relationships. I didn't know what it meant to be a true friend for a long time. My life always looked like I had a lot of people, but the truth is I was lonely. I had no one and at the end of the day, I couldn’t blame anyone but myself. I decided to commit to change, learning, growing, and seeking out women who would help me grow in Christ and myself. 

Almost three years later, The Lord in His kindness has provided me with something deeper than friendship: a rich sisterhood. I used to think that I needed to be just like my friends, but there is beauty in our differences and reasons for our strengths and weaknesses. I needed the kind of friendship that could be patient with me as I decided to continue to heal, I needed women in my life who understood my fear of deep relationships. They are women who push me to grow and carry me when I cannot do it alone. They provide wisdom, but they also provide joy. I needed women who could listen and God provided.

I’m still growing into who God has created me to be, but His mercies are new every morning and I am grateful for the people He has given me in this life. Special shout out to my dear sister Nicole, I am forever grateful to her. She was the friend that walked me through the darkest moments of this journey, she listened to me, she never judged me, and she showed me the heart of Jesus.

Proverbs 27:17 states “Iron sharpens iron, and Proverbs 18:24 states “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”