Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
"Though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me. You hold me by my right hand."
Death.
An uncomfortable topic. A topic that often brings mourning, anger, and even avoidance. There are different forms of death that we walk through in this life whether we know God or not.
When I came to Christ I was dead in sin, dead in deceit, dead in self-righteousness, dead in this world and all that it placed upon me, and that I placed upon myself. For the last three years, I have walked through what I call my valley. A journey of unlearning, undoing, and unbecoming. The Bible talks about this, it talks about how once you receive Christ, you receive new life.
What must come before a new life? Death. Death to who you used to be. Death to who you thought you’d be. Death to who you wanted to be. With this, there is pain. There is a searing form of grief for those of us who have less than perfect stories mixed with “God where were you, God, how could they, and God what have I done” I would know, as those have been prayers echoed from one bedroom apartments to circles of close friends.
This morning I stood in my apartment avoiding the inevitable grief that comes from me thinking about where I am. Acknowledging the middle of my wilderness and the distance of a promise. As I allowed the tears to pour and the silence fill the room, I became full. Full of release, full of courage, full of belief. The belief is that this is not the end of my story. This is not the end of the story God is writing, this is the middle. And in the middle it’s messy. It’s painful, it’s honest, but it’s also for a purpose. I share this with you today to say that if you yourself are walking through your valley, your death of a dream, loss of a relationship, grief of your past, whatever it may be. Let me remind you as I remind myself who God is. He’s the redeemer, A good father, a rescuer, a sovereign Lord, a healer, restorer, and He is the God of redemption stories.
My healing is not dependent on me, and as I take a sigh of relief mixed with tears, I remember. I remember who He is, and remind myself. I am free.
Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
(NIV)
2nd Corinthians 5:17
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here!
(NIV).
Written 2/23/24
Photo taken in the summer of 2021
